acquaintanceship is hard when
the two of us have more faces
that spit fire from tongues silenced too long
twos company
fours a crowd
the night we met you called me a
gemini *****
i entangled those words in my mind
funny that
that was the night i wanted to hang myself
i'm not that bad anymore but it reminds me that
i long for people who damage me
a "build me up to tear me down" deal
lies
the secrets i've spilled to you on drunken nights
are used as icepicks in the cold dwelling that is my soul
i know you have it too
you told me about the things that haunt you
.

you don't ask me how i am anymore
today i walked out of your room and you didn't look up when i left
and yet you're happy enough to parade me around
a travelling circus
a freak show
until the clock you wear on your wrist beeps
and suddenly,
i'm not convenient
.


i know you're at war with yourself too
i've been enlisted in my own militia for as long as i could talk
i have scars on my body from all the times the soldiers in my head
decided i needed a reminder of what they're fighting
.

why don't you ask about me?
i bend backwards for you until my spine snaps
but you tell me it's only a fracture
.