two years after the fact,
i realised i had fallen in love.
and that was two years too late,
as i struggled to process what 'love' was.
i confused it with envy, anger, jealousy,
and by the time i figured out it shouldn't be,
i let it consume me, until it had become nothing
but a strangled, choked, ****** sob.
it became me; something ugly.
not like you, nothing like you - don't come any closer.
let me lock it away and let it wither,
for i can't bring myself to smash it to bits.

but instead, i think it's growing larger.
god - i just can't let it starve.