All I  ever known was misery and betrayal , used and abused and destined to fail.
I didn't have faith I felt no hope struggling with the pain I could barely cope.
I had no one that cared and no where to go,  stuck in a wirl pool sinking deeper below .
I sunk to a point where I just wanted to die,  flooded with so much pain I had little tears left to cry.
I would cry myself to sleep praying for god to take me.  To get me out of this place so I could be free.
But he didn't listen I continued to fall fragile and scared I couldn't cope no more.  
I begged my mother for help but she didn't seem to care.  
I was a waste of time which she didn't want to spare.
I would barricate myself in my room
And hide under my bed.  All the messed up visions running through my head.  
For I new what was coming but I still tried to hide.
Then would come the blackmail I had to abide.
My memories still haunt me to this day.  That feeling of fear will never fade away.
And of course it didn't stop there abuse after abuse I started not to care.
I started to think I deserve to be punished,  but what for
Maybe I deserved this from the life I lived before.
I couldn't understand why I had  to go through this pain.
Years after years different men but the same.
I thought it would never end I thought I was too blame.
So I thought maybe death is the only way.  So I started cutting getting deeper and deeper every day.  I started noticing it was taking the pain away.
But then it became a normal habit my heart could no longer mend
So I swallowed packets of pills thinking this has to come to an end.