My hooded head casts a shadow across the overflowing ashtray. My exhaled smoke is silhouetted on the handcrafted clay. In the shape of an oyster, painted with the colors of rebellious 21st century youth: Red. Gold. Green. With a flare of "originality." Breeze, light, cold escorts winter across my aged face and I see all that my life is: Tar. Work. Tar. Tar. Sleep. Work. Tar. Eat. Work. Tar. Tar. Work. Eat. Work. Drink coffee. Tar. Sleep. Die. Is this equation what I am reduced to? Simple formula, obsessive compulsive DREAM. The exponents of my life, variables and names: Tar. to the power of X. Tar. to the power of M. But exponents and powers mean little to drowning men. Can a man suffocate on his own routine? Can a man fashion a noose from the fibers of his "adult life?" Look, Ma! I'm all growed-up. I have murdered adventure and the youth that lives inside it. I snapped one too many thin branches, fell through the thin ice, and now I am addicted to solid ground. I will stand on the banks, watching the children ice-skate around my ashtray that overflows with every "yesterday" and half-smoked "this one time" that comprise my former life. I am a grown-up now.