At 8 I said "I wish I didn't exist."
At 9 I thought of a world where I wasn't there.
At 10 I said "I wish I was dead."
At 11 I started to picture my funeral.
At 12 I started to wear long sleeves.
At 13 I didn't think I'd make it to 14.
At 14 I didn't think I'd make it to 15.
At 15 I almost didn't, and took a vacation behind locked doors...
At 16 I tried to forget.
At 17 I started to remember.
At 17 I looked back.
I started to say, and think, and do like before.
I started to wear long sleeves.
I started to imagine my casket.
I started to panic.
I started to feel as I did at 16, 15, 14, 13, 12, 11, 10, 9, 8
An evil spiraling countdown, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1...
                                            I tried again