You have been notorious to be the person who others use as a “time filler” — or so you have noticed. You find yourself falling over and over again for people who do not quite feel the same way. Behind their honeyed words and the whole “let me convince you that I mutually like you back” notions and antics, you sporadically begin to believe time and again that maybe – just maybe, things will work out for once. But, as always, it never does. It doesn’t matter if the relation is platonic or romantic, you feel like you’re always at the losing end, your end loving way more than it should. Your soul has so much love to give and you’re starting to think that others can’t quite handle and appreciate that. And you don’t believe you have ever been in a place where you have felt otherwise. Somehow, you manage to let yourself love more. Despite sitting and pretending like you’re okay with it, smearing on a “I don’t give a ****” façade like lipstick, it almost seems like it gives others the excuse to think that their actions of leading you on are okay. But the scary thing is, you have oddly become okay with it somehow. You’ve become immune to expectations being torn down and ripped apart at their seams with the reality that your idea of someone loving you is too optimistic. Therefore, you decide you will continue to love others as hard and as fiercely as you can, but you refuse to let yourself be convinced that things will work out in the end. You tell yourself religiously that everything is temporary. Until someone out there can prove to you that you can be loved more than you have the capacity to love others, you will use your adoration at your utmost. You will allow yourself to be hurt by others who cannot see your worth and your love for them.