You can be alone but not lonely.
You can be lonely even when you're not alone.
I hear this over and over and I just nod like I heard it for the first time.
It's sad that I am both.
Lonely and alone.

The sun is setting into an orange gradient and I can still the smell the rain.
That familiar smell of the ground.
Outside the walls of my room, I know people are bustling their ways to go home.
And here I am on my bed, lonely and alone.

Do you ever just want not to wake up?
I oversleep and even if I've had enough and my head is already aching from hours of pressure on my head,
And my eyes are hurting for I have been shutting them in force for hours long,
I am just not ready to wake up.
I have no reason at all.
Or maybe I'm just tired trying.

As I'm thinking about it now,
How each passing day is getting more difficult to live,
I realized how nice it would have been if there's someone who could tell me,
"It'll be fine. You'll be fine."
I hope someone could spark me some hope.
Like who cares if it's false.