Apr 2018
I'm afraid of my stretch marks and I don't even understand their existence.
Worse part is that these lines, these stupid red, purple ,black or whatever colour they decide to settle into after countless application of lies sold to me over the counter are results of body change.
If I knew I'd grow into stretch marks I would've thought twice about this whole developing thing..or probably would've gone on some diet at a tender age
I've trained my mind to remember each time I undress (which is a lot) how to unlove these lines of growth.
I mean I'm conflicted at times, I see beauty in what has been proclaimed as ugly and then I find myself in some mental corner trying to rock my imbalanced emotions back and 4th .
What scares me the most is this endless expectation people have of my body. " **** you have a beautiful body" news flash it's not! It's filled with those colourful confused as to which colour really lines , " I'd love to see you in a bikini", geeez I'd love to see me in a bikini.
"You're beautiful, stop with this low self esteem thing, it's unattractive" I'm basing things on facts, be gone with your fairy tale kinda love its cute 100 stadiums away..or 1000 I don't know.
See I want **** in my own version, the kind that makes me want me!
And these lines are disturbing me from the bigger picture.
"Girlfriend don't stress, I've got them too it's a natural thing when you gain unnecessary weight or whatever" now am I supposed to be content or happy coz my entire squad has got these colourful lines.
I'm sure if we All stood naked in front of a large mirror with our bums facing the mirror it would look like a rainbow drawn and coloured in by a five year old , confused as to which crayon would look good and then settling for the most depressing shades
I want them gone!
Worse part is that these lines, these stupid red, purple ,black or whatever colour they decide to settle into after countless application of lies sold to me over the counter are results of body change.
If I knew I'd grow into stretch marks I would've thought twice about this whole developing thing..or probably would've gone on some diet at a tender age
I've trained my mind to remember each time I undress (which is a lot) how to unlove these lines of growth.
I mean I'm conflicted at times, I see beauty in what has been proclaimed as ugly and then I find myself in some mental corner trying to rock my imbalanced emotions back and 4th .
What scares me the most is this endless expectation people have of my body. " **** you have a beautiful body" news flash it's not! It's filled with those colourful confused as to which colour really lines , " I'd love to see you in a bikini", geeez I'd love to see me in a bikini.
"You're beautiful, stop with this low self esteem thing, it's unattractive" I'm basing things on facts, be gone with your fairy tale kinda love its cute 100 stadiums away..or 1000 I don't know.
See I want **** in my own version, the kind that makes me want me!
And these lines are disturbing me from the bigger picture.
"Girlfriend don't stress, I've got them too it's a natural thing when you gain unnecessary weight or whatever" now am I supposed to be content or happy coz my entire squad has got these colourful lines.
I'm sure if we All stood naked in front of a large mirror with our bums facing the mirror it would look like a rainbow drawn and coloured in by a five year old , confused as to which crayon would look good and then settling for the most depressing shades
I want them gone!
