Perhaps you were cold
or maybe broke and hungry
but know it was bold
to pilfer things from me

If it was unattended
I might understand
but it was ******* attended
very ******* close at hand

At least you were decent
and left me my keys
Oh, wait! No you're a ****
I hope your **** gets disease

If I ever find you
I'll rip out all your teeth
I wouldn't **** you, true
but you're a worthless, ******* thief.

Now I'm not quick to anger
and I've got a long fuse
you best accept the danger
with the targets you choose

So know that I'm ******
and I'm ready to attack
You're high on my ****-list
and I want my ******* coat back