Apr 2018
When I was a little girl and growing up I never felt wanted never felt worthy of who I am and who I wanted to be.
I got betrayed and hurt by two people who were family to me. I never had a father and so the only thing I was holding on to was the poor relationship with my mother.
Growing up I was the type to focus on trying to be like everyone else and well because of that I lost myself.
In the 9th grade, I fell in love with someone and I was at a young age yes, you can call it love or not but at that time it felt like love. I thought that the relationship was perfect but it was the opposite. the saying "being blinded by love" does indeed happens and a lot of people go through such a thing like me. After a year and a half, I started feeling numb, I was isolating myself, I didn't have any friends and well my family basically disowned me. I was at such a low point in my life and he was the cause. I didn't care if he was cheating any more or hurting me, as long as I had him I was ok because being alone was my biggest fear. So I stayed with him after a couple of months after that and till I realized well actually my therapist said to me... " honey if he loves you and if he cares he would be hurting right now just like you. Because once two peoples are in love they connect what one feels the other feels too." I stood there thinking and more thinking. I did the hardest thing and left him. For a couple of months, I was left with no friends and a family who couldn't trust me. I lost the one thing I cant take back which was such a big thing for me and well here I am now. I have 2 amazing best friends and a lovely man who loves me unconditionally.
so the real answer is... I write because that's how I have a voice. I want to make a difference in the world. People know me as quiet and shy but that's because my voice is through writing and I couldn't have it any other way.
I got betrayed and hurt by two people who were family to me. I never had a father and so the only thing I was holding on to was the poor relationship with my mother.
Growing up I was the type to focus on trying to be like everyone else and well because of that I lost myself.
In the 9th grade, I fell in love with someone and I was at a young age yes, you can call it love or not but at that time it felt like love. I thought that the relationship was perfect but it was the opposite. the saying "being blinded by love" does indeed happens and a lot of people go through such a thing like me. After a year and a half, I started feeling numb, I was isolating myself, I didn't have any friends and well my family basically disowned me. I was at such a low point in my life and he was the cause. I didn't care if he was cheating any more or hurting me, as long as I had him I was ok because being alone was my biggest fear. So I stayed with him after a couple of months after that and till I realized well actually my therapist said to me... " honey if he loves you and if he cares he would be hurting right now just like you. Because once two peoples are in love they connect what one feels the other feels too." I stood there thinking and more thinking. I did the hardest thing and left him. For a couple of months, I was left with no friends and a family who couldn't trust me. I lost the one thing I cant take back which was such a big thing for me and well here I am now. I have 2 amazing best friends and a lovely man who loves me unconditionally.
so the real answer is... I write because that's how I have a voice. I want to make a difference in the world. People know me as quiet and shy but that's because my voice is through writing and I couldn't have it any other way.
