i never feared
loneliness
i've always chosen
to be alone
i craved it
wallowed in it
sat satisfied
while alone
i thought
that is what
i wanted
to be alone
to be alone
but
not lonely
loneliness
is consuming
suffocating
it grips
my throat
and squeezes
every
last
breath
until i am left
panting
desperate
for contact
watching
the outside world
of human
commotion
and wanting to
be a part
of anything
something
but
i've pushed
and pushed
and now
there
is nobody
nobody
to reach out to
nobody
to call
nobody
to laugh with
share with
conspire with
and
i am definitively
left
alone
lonely


alone.