I lost my house cars and kids as fast as I can say I do,
Now live my life with no care in the world to what it is that I do.
Even with the chances that I had to get them all back just obstacles for me to overcome,
It's a lot easier said because otherwise it would be done.
I have my family to thank for being there otherwise I wouldn't know where they would be,
I have my family feeling hurt because they believed in what I stood for as far as I can see.
It's like my life has come to a standpoint my motherhood has been stripped right out of my hands,It's like the only way to get them back it's by following orders or specific demands.
But who said the parenting comes with a handbook  filled of instructions on what's right and what's wrong,
I'm still at the point where they call me an unfit parent and due to that my kids are all gone.
Everyday that goes by I hear my children's voice and have to tell myself that they're not here,
It's like I messed up and can't do right so my days turn to months and now my months have turned to years.
Now my children have to live a certain life they didn't have a chance and it's just what it is,
All because of my selfish act and my wrong choices they all suffer for what I did.
What is wrong with me I wish I knew every day I wake up with all this weight on my heart,
Not only for my children but for my family who loves me enough to love them who's willing to fix something I tore apart.
Just the thought to try to get  back what I lost for me the results are still the same,
I lost them and now they're gone and I am the only one who is to blame.
My life is filled with pain and anger for I am  my worst enemy for what I put them through,
What kind of person am I when I look in the mirror I can't even recognize who I am  I say to myself this isn't u.
When you can tell you're not the mother the sister , Auntie or woman you used to be,
But you see a lifeless soul me fighting a demon that lies Within me.
What's wrong with me I lost my children to my health not an addiction and that's real fact,
What's wrong with me I lost my life and possibly I will never get it back.