Apr 2018
The Thoughts and experiences of a broken minded man.
He lived a life of self centered sorrow, always in mourning. He sought to make all things right.
He laughed, he cried, he felt.....yes, he was human.
He tried to love, only to find out no one wanted his unbridled love, a love that was like of a treasure first discovered by a child. Some thought his love overprotective, and so he was. As he protected and held on...he eventually lost. The more loss he felt, the more sorrow piled on him...until it was a mountain of guilt, sadness and regret. He sought out God and for a time he burned with a zealous rage to protect that which was righteous. That too turned to sorrow.
To him..people became a bother...and he was a bother to them. He understood that they only cared for fame and fortune and that pleasure was their god. So, he left the world alone and wanted nothing more of it and hoped that it saw him the same. He had nothing to boast about, he was not made of gold, but perhaps a rusted iron. Though not too aged...he was sturdy and uncompromising. He was no competitor nor did he like to compete. He had a luke warm sense of nothingness to him. Yet, some found him unique for a time...but they too would leave and turn their gaze. So he would return to solitude...for it was home.
In the midst of a party he was ever the enigmatic loner, he hated parties or social gatherings. To him parties and gatherings were just there so people could show off or find new ways to brag. When the boasting ran out...the drinking began. His rule for drinking...."drink alone though don't drink often."
As time passed and his sorrow grew, he turned inward to compile his thoughts. He shared his thoughts and pain with others but he found that to them....it was a burden too heavy and once again he was alone. He began to build walls around himself and even to this day he does so. Ever cautious.. so his brokenness cannot grow.
The brokenness he bears...such a heavy weight. he told himself "mind your words and lock away your heart...lest your brokenness escapes and destroys another innocent...adding to the mountain which sits upon your shoulders." How much longer can he hold up that which has already crushed him so?
He lived a life of self centered sorrow, always in mourning. He sought to make all things right.
He laughed, he cried, he felt.....yes, he was human.
He tried to love, only to find out no one wanted his unbridled love, a love that was like of a treasure first discovered by a child. Some thought his love overprotective, and so he was. As he protected and held on...he eventually lost. The more loss he felt, the more sorrow piled on him...until it was a mountain of guilt, sadness and regret. He sought out God and for a time he burned with a zealous rage to protect that which was righteous. That too turned to sorrow.
To him..people became a bother...and he was a bother to them. He understood that they only cared for fame and fortune and that pleasure was their god. So, he left the world alone and wanted nothing more of it and hoped that it saw him the same. He had nothing to boast about, he was not made of gold, but perhaps a rusted iron. Though not too aged...he was sturdy and uncompromising. He was no competitor nor did he like to compete. He had a luke warm sense of nothingness to him. Yet, some found him unique for a time...but they too would leave and turn their gaze. So he would return to solitude...for it was home.
In the midst of a party he was ever the enigmatic loner, he hated parties or social gatherings. To him parties and gatherings were just there so people could show off or find new ways to brag. When the boasting ran out...the drinking began. His rule for drinking...."drink alone though don't drink often."
As time passed and his sorrow grew, he turned inward to compile his thoughts. He shared his thoughts and pain with others but he found that to them....it was a burden too heavy and once again he was alone. He began to build walls around himself and even to this day he does so. Ever cautious.. so his brokenness cannot grow.
The brokenness he bears...such a heavy weight. he told himself "mind your words and lock away your heart...lest your brokenness escapes and destroys another innocent...adding to the mountain which sits upon your shoulders." How much longer can he hold up that which has already crushed him so?
