And I am sick of phone calls
From people long left,
And of this anxiety,
Which I won't forget.
Cold sweats and shaking myself.
horridly awake,
Horridly aware of you;
A memory of the past.
Tearing me ever slowly,
ruining my mind.

But I will find some comfort,
In the future first.
******* in the cool stiff air,
My hands filled with tears.
Then I'll become a monster,
In ways I'm not proud.
This is who I've become.
All that I hated.
At last my heart relaxes,
Release to the bed.

He rolls over with a sigh,
Arms wrapping 'round me.
I can feel his heart beat slow.
Suddenly, I am home.