usually it's always been
me, my pen, and paper.
finding the exact words
to express how I feel.
but it seems to be
I'm at my most difficult point.
my dreams are ******* up
I'm in so many unfamiliar places
With so many unfamiliar faces.
my thoughts are consumed
of so many things at once
I can't seem to find the reason behind thinking anymore.

this feeling called love,
maybe I'm just no good at it.
you're supposed to be able to love yourself
and I do
but it's the things I do
to be completely in love w myself
is it right?
To put in fake hair
because my deepest desire
is possess what I don't have.
To put on chemically processed make up
just to make my eyes stand out through my frames
because if I could, those frames would be in two
and maybe I'd feel more beautiful.
To put my checking account on empty
trying to keep up with the latest trends
and sometimes then
I'm not satisfied
because then it comes down to
personality.
And that I won't even begin to touch upon