Apr 2018
The little girl was with January in the office.
He was reclining at the desk, hands behind his head. “Shouldn’t you be in school?” he said.
She shifted in the hard wooden seat tugging at her skirt.
“What’s that matter with you?” he said sitting up.
“I’m having my period. It’s my first one.”
“Than what the hell are you doing here?”
“Where do you suggest I go? I can’t go to school like this. I’m bleeding,” she said fidgeting.
“******, girl,” he said, “Get some tampons!”
“I’m only twelve and a half. They won’t sell them to me. I need parental consent.”
“That’s *******. I’ll get ya some. Stay here and don’t bleed all over the place,” he said ducking out to the street. He found the pharmacy between Moe’s haberdashery and the barbershop and going to the counter said “Where are your tampons?”
The pharmacist peered at him through thick glass. He wasn’t one of those. The guy was slow but he got there; in back and around the corner and another and to the back of that. He handed the box to January. January read the package. “Is this good for first-timer’s?”
The guy almost fainted but caught himself and stooping came up with a pink and blue box explicitly labeled ‘MY FIRST ******’.
“Thanks, pops. You’re a lifesaver. What’s the damage.”
The old man brought January through the rows back to the register.
“Five ninety nine, plus tax,” the guy said studiously.
“Look, get yourself some new specs,” said January sticking a c-note under the guy’s nose.
He got back to find the girl standing naked in the middle of the floor.
“What gives?” he said irate, “What if May came in here?”
“I don’t care. Look at me!” she cried, her scrawny pink thighs smeared with red, “I took my clothes off because I didn’t want to ruin them and they’re all I’ve got to wear,” she pouted woefully. “But what are clothes but an empty shell.”
“You’re sounding like Whitman. Here, shove this up your cooch,” he said handing her the box.
Reading the label she brightened up considerably and running to him jumped into his arms and threw her arms around his neck. “Hey, you trying to get blood on me?”
“I’m going to **** your **** right now!”
“No,” he said but it was too late.
She’d done this before. It always took him by surprise.
The little girl was adjusting her skirt when April came through the door. “Mister January, I want to be a nun,” April declared calmly.
“I’ll see what I can do. Ta-ta, uncle,” said the girl slipping on her heels and sallying to the ladies room. After a few moments she sauntered out of the building and April shut the office door.
“What’s this about?” he said finally.
“I’ve got the calling. I woke up this morning and I just knew. Do you think could Miss January could help me?”
“She said she’ll she see what she can do. I guess you wait. That’s all you can do, “ he said soberly. “How’d Tony take the news?”
“We agreed to split up. He won’t change, Mister January. Tony likes his life. He’s just starting out and I don’t want to hold him back. That would only make us both miserable,” she clearly reasoned.
“Sounds like life happening right before my eyes. Maybe that’s why I got dumped in this burg. I’ve been running into diamonds in the rough since I got here. You’re an alright lot.
Yeh, sure, April. I’m sure Miss January will help out in every way she can.”
“Thank you, Mister January.”
“Here, I’ll tell ya what, just to be sure, I’ll call Father Bob,” he said handily whipping out his cell.
“Bob? January. Say, you know that cute kid works for me? April, yeh. She was set to get married but that’s all busted up. Yeh, you know guys. Anyway, she tells me she’s got a calling, Wants to be a nun. Can you arrange it? You-know-who is looking into it on her end but I figure you’ve got a direct line. Am I right? Yeh? That’s great, Bob. I’ll bring her right over. God bless you too, yeah and the Holy Ghost. Yeh, so long, Bob. Thanks again.”
He put the phone away and said, “That’s just swell. He’s got a spot for you already. Place called Mount St. Mary’s Abbey. He knows the Mother Superior. We’ll head over to the rectory now and he’ll prep you on the kinds of questions they’ll ask. Don’t say anything about your business downstairs and everything should go alright.”
“Yes, Mister January.”
“I’ll call Miss January and tell her her assistance is appreciated but not necessary.”
Needless to say, the endowment given to Mount St. Mary’s covered the cost of an all new addition specifically geared toward April’s ‘special’ needs which would also encourage others of her type to seek service. It didn’t hurt that April had over five-hundred grand in the bank.
He was reclining at the desk, hands behind his head. “Shouldn’t you be in school?” he said.
She shifted in the hard wooden seat tugging at her skirt.
“What’s that matter with you?” he said sitting up.
“I’m having my period. It’s my first one.”
“Than what the hell are you doing here?”
“Where do you suggest I go? I can’t go to school like this. I’m bleeding,” she said fidgeting.
“******, girl,” he said, “Get some tampons!”
“I’m only twelve and a half. They won’t sell them to me. I need parental consent.”
“That’s *******. I’ll get ya some. Stay here and don’t bleed all over the place,” he said ducking out to the street. He found the pharmacy between Moe’s haberdashery and the barbershop and going to the counter said “Where are your tampons?”
The pharmacist peered at him through thick glass. He wasn’t one of those. The guy was slow but he got there; in back and around the corner and another and to the back of that. He handed the box to January. January read the package. “Is this good for first-timer’s?”
The guy almost fainted but caught himself and stooping came up with a pink and blue box explicitly labeled ‘MY FIRST ******’.
“Thanks, pops. You’re a lifesaver. What’s the damage.”
The old man brought January through the rows back to the register.
“Five ninety nine, plus tax,” the guy said studiously.
“Look, get yourself some new specs,” said January sticking a c-note under the guy’s nose.
He got back to find the girl standing naked in the middle of the floor.
“What gives?” he said irate, “What if May came in here?”
“I don’t care. Look at me!” she cried, her scrawny pink thighs smeared with red, “I took my clothes off because I didn’t want to ruin them and they’re all I’ve got to wear,” she pouted woefully. “But what are clothes but an empty shell.”
“You’re sounding like Whitman. Here, shove this up your cooch,” he said handing her the box.
Reading the label she brightened up considerably and running to him jumped into his arms and threw her arms around his neck. “Hey, you trying to get blood on me?”
“I’m going to **** your **** right now!”
“No,” he said but it was too late.
She’d done this before. It always took him by surprise.
The little girl was adjusting her skirt when April came through the door. “Mister January, I want to be a nun,” April declared calmly.
“I’ll see what I can do. Ta-ta, uncle,” said the girl slipping on her heels and sallying to the ladies room. After a few moments she sauntered out of the building and April shut the office door.
“What’s this about?” he said finally.
“I’ve got the calling. I woke up this morning and I just knew. Do you think could Miss January could help me?”
“She said she’ll she see what she can do. I guess you wait. That’s all you can do, “ he said soberly. “How’d Tony take the news?”
“We agreed to split up. He won’t change, Mister January. Tony likes his life. He’s just starting out and I don’t want to hold him back. That would only make us both miserable,” she clearly reasoned.
“Sounds like life happening right before my eyes. Maybe that’s why I got dumped in this burg. I’ve been running into diamonds in the rough since I got here. You’re an alright lot.
Yeh, sure, April. I’m sure Miss January will help out in every way she can.”
“Thank you, Mister January.”
“Here, I’ll tell ya what, just to be sure, I’ll call Father Bob,” he said handily whipping out his cell.
“Bob? January. Say, you know that cute kid works for me? April, yeh. She was set to get married but that’s all busted up. Yeh, you know guys. Anyway, she tells me she’s got a calling, Wants to be a nun. Can you arrange it? You-know-who is looking into it on her end but I figure you’ve got a direct line. Am I right? Yeh? That’s great, Bob. I’ll bring her right over. God bless you too, yeah and the Holy Ghost. Yeh, so long, Bob. Thanks again.”
He put the phone away and said, “That’s just swell. He’s got a spot for you already. Place called Mount St. Mary’s Abbey. He knows the Mother Superior. We’ll head over to the rectory now and he’ll prep you on the kinds of questions they’ll ask. Don’t say anything about your business downstairs and everything should go alright.”
“Yes, Mister January.”
“I’ll call Miss January and tell her her assistance is appreciated but not necessary.”
Needless to say, the endowment given to Mount St. Mary’s covered the cost of an all new addition specifically geared toward April’s ‘special’ needs which would also encourage others of her type to seek service. It didn’t hurt that April had over five-hundred grand in the bank.
