on the off-chance that eventually you might start seeing me
the way i see myself
is probably my biggest fear.
my image of everything is so unclear,
so blurred and indefinite that i don't know where one line begins
and another ends.
and to feel so insecure around the ones i call friends -
to put it one way,
it *****,
even though they say
everyone has insecurities,
it's hard to not give a ****
about what other people think,
because darling, sometimes i still feel so alone.
my mind isolates itself and i drone
on about things that shouldn't matter,
but they do.
and even when i like to think that no one has a clue
about the tiny hints i get sometimes in the back of my head
that make me second-guess every word i've already said,
or how i look at myself in the mirror,
so harshly judging my own reflection
and worrying about achieving the perfection
that everyone who watches TV falls in love with.
it's human nature to try and alter
what we define as beautiful,
to make those beneath us falter
and question who they really are.
so the next time you see yourself,
take note of that pretty face
and remember you don't need makeup or lace
to please strangers you pass on the street.
remember that you see your own flaws first,
that we all have them (yours aren't the worst),
and remember that you're never alone.