Mar 2018
****...
This hurts.
Not the kind of "hurt" that I've felt before.
This hurts more than any pain I've ever endured.
I wake up every day, attempting to be strong.
I try to keep myself extra busy at work.
I drown myself in paperwork all day just so my mind can be occupied.
Nothing seems to work.
I still think about us and how we got here, every second of every day since you told me you needed a "break".
I just never expected us to be in this place.
We were so good.
Of course we had our days, what couple doesn't...but I've never questioned how you felt about, until now.
It hurts.
You won't even tell me you love me.
That makes my heart sink and the tears to fall from my eyes uncontrollably.
I feel so helpless.
I don't even have anybody to turn to, because you were the one person I went to for everything.
You always made everything better.
I keep trying to figure out what I've done for you to act so cold towards me.
What have I done for you to act like you just don't care anymore?
I know I'm not perfect.
I know I'm annoying, stubborn, and sometimes hard to deal with but I really love you and I thought that over ruled everything.
I did my best to be there for you when you needed me most.
I tried my best every day.
Was my best not good enough?
I just miss you...I miss you like crazy.
I feel an immense amount of sadness to not know what's going to happen between us.
I truly believed that our love could conquer all.
All obstacles.
All trials.
All bad days.
Everything.
I still am trying to hold on to that faith because I remember feeling how much you loved me, you showed me a love I never knew before, a love that gave me butterflies everyday. A love so strong.
I love you too much to just give up like that.
I meant every word I have ever said to you.
Every single time I kissed you, I fell more in love.
Every single time I held your hand, I felt more safe.
Every single time I hugged you, I never wanted to let go.
I still don't want to let go.
I still want you...I still want "us" more than ever.
The day I thought I could possibly lose you, I cried like a baby.
I remember kneeling down and praying to God to please not take you away from me.
All I could say was "Please God, please God...please."
That was probably one of the hardest days of my life.
But it just made me love you more, it made me appreciate you more.
I kept thinking of all the things I took for granted, like just laying next to you in bed.
I promised myself that I would never take anything for granted ever again in my life.
I just want my baby back....baby come back to me.
Robert,
I will continue to respect what you want, even if it's really hard. I still wont give up on you or on us. I still love you more than ever. I don't know what's going on between us, I don't know why you're being so cold, but I pray to God that we will overcome this. You truly are the love of my life and I pray that you still feel the same. I'll be here...waiting for you.
Always yours,
Candace.
This hurts.
Not the kind of "hurt" that I've felt before.
This hurts more than any pain I've ever endured.
I wake up every day, attempting to be strong.
I try to keep myself extra busy at work.
I drown myself in paperwork all day just so my mind can be occupied.
Nothing seems to work.
I still think about us and how we got here, every second of every day since you told me you needed a "break".
I just never expected us to be in this place.
We were so good.
Of course we had our days, what couple doesn't...but I've never questioned how you felt about, until now.
It hurts.
You won't even tell me you love me.
That makes my heart sink and the tears to fall from my eyes uncontrollably.
I feel so helpless.
I don't even have anybody to turn to, because you were the one person I went to for everything.
You always made everything better.
I keep trying to figure out what I've done for you to act so cold towards me.
What have I done for you to act like you just don't care anymore?
I know I'm not perfect.
I know I'm annoying, stubborn, and sometimes hard to deal with but I really love you and I thought that over ruled everything.
I did my best to be there for you when you needed me most.
I tried my best every day.
Was my best not good enough?
I just miss you...I miss you like crazy.
I feel an immense amount of sadness to not know what's going to happen between us.
I truly believed that our love could conquer all.
All obstacles.
All trials.
All bad days.
Everything.
I still am trying to hold on to that faith because I remember feeling how much you loved me, you showed me a love I never knew before, a love that gave me butterflies everyday. A love so strong.
I love you too much to just give up like that.
I meant every word I have ever said to you.
Every single time I kissed you, I fell more in love.
Every single time I held your hand, I felt more safe.
Every single time I hugged you, I never wanted to let go.
I still don't want to let go.
I still want you...I still want "us" more than ever.
The day I thought I could possibly lose you, I cried like a baby.
I remember kneeling down and praying to God to please not take you away from me.
All I could say was "Please God, please God...please."
That was probably one of the hardest days of my life.
But it just made me love you more, it made me appreciate you more.
I kept thinking of all the things I took for granted, like just laying next to you in bed.
I promised myself that I would never take anything for granted ever again in my life.
I just want my baby back....baby come back to me.
Robert,
I will continue to respect what you want, even if it's really hard. I still wont give up on you or on us. I still love you more than ever. I don't know what's going on between us, I don't know why you're being so cold, but I pray to God that we will overcome this. You truly are the love of my life and I pray that you still feel the same. I'll be here...waiting for you.
Always yours,
Candace.
