I tell her that I forgive her as I look into her eyes
She looks at me and smiles assured that the lie I just told her was the truth
I tell myself it’s the truth as lying to myself is the only way I can muster up the courage to say it
I hold her close as I think about the lie I have just told
I tell myself I just need more time
I tell myself that it’s her fault I can’t forgive her
Many years pass as I hold on to the hatred and anger I have in my heart for her
I look in the mirror and see nothing but a hurt child refusing to let go of the past
I convince myself that letting the anger go will mean letting her go
I reach the edge of the dam and look across at the vast river of hate I have allowed to flow into my heart
I tell myself that it’s time to let it all go
I open the gates and allow myself to cry
The feelings of anger flow out of me like a raging river roaring down a mountain after the first snow melt
I can finally start to forgive
          I can finally tell her I forgive her*
-Jeffrey Sutter