I don't know what caused me to be this way.
It could have been the abandonment I felt when my father went away.
It could have been the way my heart's been broken before.
It could have been, anything.
I don't like this side of me.
I don't like the way I panic when I feel like you're mad at me.
My palms begin to sweat, my heart races, and I feel really anxious.
I always find the constant need to be reassured of your love for me.
That's not your fault.
My best guess is that, the love I feel for you is so unfamiliar to me.
It's something I've definitely never felt before.
It's strong and passionate.
It's the love I prayed for.
You're the man of my dreams.
So...when I feel things are just "not right" or a little on edge, I lose myself in a pool of emotions.
Emotions that I wear on my sleeve.
Emotions that cause you to begin to resent me.
Emotions that are just too much too handle sometimes, I know that.
I wish I wasn't like this.
I wish I didn't lose myself when I feel like I'm about to lose you.
Remember when I said I was damaged goods....maybe this is what I meant.
I'm sorry that you've had to endure this from me.
I'm sorry that I've irritated you to the point of resentment.
I recognize my faults completely.
My intentions has always been good, I promise.
My intentions have always been to love you in the best way I can, to support you in any situation, and to NEVER give up.
I'm not perfect, I'm neurotic...when it comes to love.

*I love you with every bit of my heart. I pray your recovery process goes well. I pray you get back to being 100%, I know you will. Please know that I will always be there for you. I love you today, tomorrow, and always.


Love,
Candace