Mar 2018
We’re fighting again and I don’t know if I’m shaking because it’s cold outside or if it’s because of this chill you left in my bones when I watched your taillights fade.
You’re always leaving me behind.
I don’t know what I can do to change your mind.
All these voices in my head make it hard to speak.
I cannot formulate into words how much you mean to me.
It’s always overcast in my mind, dark gray and pouring rain.
I’m sorry I couldn’t find the words say.
I’m breaking down into fragments,
I begin to wonder if the pain will ever subside.
This isn’t supposed to be a beautiful poem about missing you, this is me trying to speak to you through the metaphors dripping from my tongue.
This is my way of telling you that your absence is a stinging pain seeping into my bone marrow.
Every night I have dreams where you leave me.
But I wake in a cold sweat with tears in my eyes, and always find you across the bed sheets.
I want you to know that every time you leave, you’re the only one I want to run to.
It’s always going to be you.
My love for you is deeper than all the love you’ve ever received all combined together.
I had never opened myself up completely to someone, not till I met you.
I’ve never allowed myself to be so vulnerable and bare for someone, but I want you to reach all the cracks and crevices in my heart.
Everytime we fight I wonder if this time is the last time, like you’re going to give up on us and let it all go.
But maybe if you knew how much I loved you, the worries that sink deep in the left side of your brain wouldn't force feed you till you ***** all the rage and anxiety.
The emotional bruises stop aching when your fingertips meet them.
When I sink into your entrails, everything’s okay. And I feel safe with you again.
This is a poem about how I feel like I’m not good enough for you, like there’s something greater out there dying for your touch.
Sometimes you turn into a different person, your eyes go cold. But I love every face you have show.
And I sustain myself on the idea that you’re irrevocably in love with me despite all the bad things that keep us fighting.
You’re not the light at the end of the tunnel, you’re the one pulling me off the tracks.
You’re always leaving me behind.
I don’t know what I can do to change your mind.
All these voices in my head make it hard to speak.
I cannot formulate into words how much you mean to me.
It’s always overcast in my mind, dark gray and pouring rain.
I’m sorry I couldn’t find the words say.
I’m breaking down into fragments,
I begin to wonder if the pain will ever subside.
This isn’t supposed to be a beautiful poem about missing you, this is me trying to speak to you through the metaphors dripping from my tongue.
This is my way of telling you that your absence is a stinging pain seeping into my bone marrow.
Every night I have dreams where you leave me.
But I wake in a cold sweat with tears in my eyes, and always find you across the bed sheets.
I want you to know that every time you leave, you’re the only one I want to run to.
It’s always going to be you.
My love for you is deeper than all the love you’ve ever received all combined together.
I had never opened myself up completely to someone, not till I met you.
I’ve never allowed myself to be so vulnerable and bare for someone, but I want you to reach all the cracks and crevices in my heart.
Everytime we fight I wonder if this time is the last time, like you’re going to give up on us and let it all go.
But maybe if you knew how much I loved you, the worries that sink deep in the left side of your brain wouldn't force feed you till you ***** all the rage and anxiety.
The emotional bruises stop aching when your fingertips meet them.
When I sink into your entrails, everything’s okay. And I feel safe with you again.
This is a poem about how I feel like I’m not good enough for you, like there’s something greater out there dying for your touch.
Sometimes you turn into a different person, your eyes go cold. But I love every face you have show.
And I sustain myself on the idea that you’re irrevocably in love with me despite all the bad things that keep us fighting.
You’re not the light at the end of the tunnel, you’re the one pulling me off the tracks.
