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Mar 2018
I am dying, and I do not mean metaphorically
I have been afraid to say it out loud, afraid to give it power
But the truth is I am dying, and they cannot find out why
No food will stay down, my hair falls out in the breeze
and body is melting away

With the damage being caused I will have stomach cancer
in a year or two

...and I have been hiding this
from my friends, my family

I tell my parents I want to travel the world believing this is my last chance
and they say, think about your future you'll need your savings

But I am thinking about my future
and how if my life continues down this path I will not have one

I watch blood drip from my nose and feel the pain in my abdomen
and know

I never dreamed of the day I would hope they would discover cancer just so I could have a fighting chance

But I see death, like an old friend, patiently waiting for me
I am dying, at 23, and I know, all alone......

…Now I lay me down to sleep.
I pray the Lord my soul to keep.
If I should die before I wake…

Yet I’m still fighting, for if I die before I wake, no regret shall this soul take
Elana Levitan
Written by
Elana Levitan
252
   Benjamin
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