you wake up feeling nauseous
“it’s okay just keep going
the ever-present coffee made
never perfect but always enough
the shakiness sets in
you check your hands every two minutes
just to make sure you aren’t faking it
your hands and feet get cold
you can’t help but wriggle your toes to      regain feeling
your heart feels like it’s retracting
as if it wasn’t enough
you feel like there’s a hole in your chest
it’s hard to breathe and you don’t want to function
you could use a coping mechanism
but then people would notice
no, noticing is bad
better not
you want to cry but the tears don’t exist
finally alone in your room
keep eating to fill the hole
fall asleep watching YouTube videos
wake up to suffer again tomorrow
“you’re fine” you tell yourself
this isn’t nearly as bad as then