nose diving into the tunnel again
I cannot think
my mind is full of confusion
my heart begins to sink
thinking? too much effort
desiring sleep, night and day
it refuses to go it only lightens
this dark debilitating lethargy
laughter jarred and singing grates
how I long to live with me.
mistakes I make (however small)
triggers the anger inside me off
slight disappointments knock me off balance
and bury me deeper into the trough.
like an immature foetus
I lie between my future and past
between the things I do and do not understand
seeing the present as a shadow past
it isn't a comfortable situation
my whole being is in a mess
suffering blinding  enveloping
overwhelming  incompleteness