in my head,
your voice speaks vicious words
your fist meets my face
your eyes flash with disdain
and it's you (but not you)
you would not do that
unless you would
you but not you
hurts me because it's you but not you
and i hang onto half truths
made for masochism
it's you but not you and
i love you
but not the one in my head
yet im so afraid of rejection
i construct delirious painful hallucinations
to cope with something that hasn't
even happened yet.