But then I see you.
And I listen carefully to your delicate speech.
The way you slowly allow letters to form into words
As soon as they reached your lips.
Concentrating on your laugh
How it seems to echo through the air.
And bounces around inside my head.

I listen, afraid to watch.
Terrified that you might notice.
Because the moment I allow myself,
Like a knotted rope, I am instantly tied right back to you.

And every time I look at you,
Talk to you,
Or even think about you
Those knots grow tighter and tighter around my waist,
Around my chest and my throat and soon my entire being.

Even the slightest whisper of your name,
Can cause those knots to constrict me so tightly
It almost convinces me that they are hands.
Calloused and strong.

Ready to squeeze what little life I have left
Out and away from me.
Leaving me no longer able to live without the presence
Or knowledge of you.

Making me a ghost.

A living shadow that depends on your every move.

Hoping that maybe,
When your sunny days have disappeared
You just might begin to notice

I am no longer around.