while trying to buy some durex
he trembled to his roots
this is just a sport shop sir
you'd better try at boots

half an hour later
fearing confrontation
i'd like to buy a rubber thing
with batteries and vibration

once more the lady scowled
while showing him the door
this is just a sport shop
and don't come back for more

i want some k.y. jelly
he whispered his demand
her patience now exhausted
manager came to hand

what's the problem sir?
you seem a little harassed
welsh rugby,  shirt he mumbled
but i'm too embarrassed