screams scraping their way
out of my abused throat
terrified; raw and primal
pale lines clawed across my cheeks
nails jagged and bitten down
hangnails pulled to reveal
red, vulnerable flesh
coughs wracking my sick form
head thrashing, gasping pants heaving slim chest
up and down, up and down

an image taunts my vision
a picture of two serene people,
so totally in love you can feel it from the photograph
clammy hands desperately reach for it
reach for you, the imaginary version
the one where my arms wont grab at air when reaching for a hug
where my hands wont curl into fists
at seeing you love everyone but me
where broken sobs dont echo through the empty bathroom
and bile doesnt get flushed down the toilet
where i am not so isgusting
where you do not despise me

you're not mine to keep
nor the one to blame
but still,
this love is driving me ******* insane.