My thoughts often draw pictures of love for you
So today, I listen to a shuffle of old songs
Hoping nostalgia will change the tune,
And distract me from the longing in my heart

I want to write you a love song
With the heart-rending warmth of Joan Armatrading,
The edgy complexity of Joni Mitchell
And the sweetness of James Taylor

A song of fantastical love in a mundane setting
Sweet in the loving
Bitter in its failure

I wonder why I stay when I could leave
Like the choice between bathing in the light or sinking into darkness
Who wouldn’t choose the light?
But I'm clinging to the darkness all the same.

You know this pain, and make me face it.
Holding me while I learn to accept things as they are
To trust and value fear and loss
And sing songs to celebrate my own experience

It might take a long time but maybe, after dark we’ll be laughing.