I wanted to spread messages of hope,
To inspire life inside people's hearts,
Fires larger than snowy mountains
And tornados carving their place in the world.
The results would be deep chasms,
And ashes nourishing life a thousand time brighter than before.
The results would be human.
As bright as the sun and willing to burn you if you got to close
Because they'd learned that they weren't yours to touch.
Their light was a gift not a privlige
And they'd learned to stop chasing the moon because love means to live for someone.
Not die.
And they'd be deep as the sea,
Coral reef skin and raw emotion because the salt had flooded them head to toe to throats to heart.
Beneath the kelp forests and kissed fish would be their darkness,
Their loneliest place built for their loneliest self and I'd swim down.
I wouldn't be scared of this darkness,
I couldn't be because this darkness was you.
You'd learn that you could let the sun through a little deeper,
That happiness was for you to feel, not a show to put on for other people.
I'd swim down to you but you were always strong enough to swim back without help.
I wanted to help people.
But as times passed those hopeful messages have died.
And sometimes I feel so numb it's like I'm drowning at the bottom of the sea,
Buried beneath the pressure,
Struggling to breath and there's no light, no nothing it's just black and empty and I'm scared, I'm scared of this darkness because these aren't your demons anymore,
These are mine.
I wanted to help people remember they're good enough,
That they're worth saving,
But as time goes by,
I can't even save myself.