I'm sat here, alone.
with a full bottle of vodka and nothing to do, no one to see.
A raging fucking torrent of emotion that i can't fucking talk to anyone about.
Sure there's people out there, there's people i could go and meet and talk to,
None of them mean a fucking thing when all you can you is walk away.
I invested so much of my soul into trying to make this work,
and fuck it, so what if things felt different after we'd been apart for many months,
isn't that normal?
Why am i being punished for my lack of money, my set of circumstances.
You know i really wanted to come down and see you?
But no, the fucking poor kid has no money, he has to sit at home, look after the house and take a fucking beating to the soul.
But no, there's no second chances here. You'll move on pretty fucking quick, i already know that.
I'll be the one picking up the pieces, while you fuck around and have your fun.
I'll be the one who's stuck, well at least you don't have an anchor anymore.
how sad is it? that the only means of communication i have with you, is hoping you'll read this?
you probably won't, you're a 2 minute walk and a million fucking miles away from me.
Well fuck this, I fucked up, I lost,
and once again my patience and love has not been rewarded.
I will never be rewarded, maybe i do what other guys do,
like a shark in the swimming pool, using any tactic to fuck someone and run.
That just isn't me though, i'm not even equipped with the malice to let anyone know how i feel.
I FEEL LIKE SHIT.
I don't want to think anymore.
I don't want to feel love anymore.
I don't want to be punished for loving.
Right now, i don't want to be conscious.
Now where's that fucking vodka...