When I smile I try to  have  it  reach my  eyes.
When I laugh I try to make it sound  real.
But there is  only  so much I can  fake.
I wish people  could wouldn't  ask  me if  I'm  okay
Because  I'm  tired  of  lying  to  there face.
I wish I knew why I felt like I do
I wish I could make it stop
Maybe I could feel normal again
But normal feels too far gone
Like it's there sitting in front of me
just out of reach
I try to grab it but I'm always jolted further than were I started
Maybe I should  stop trying  maybe  then I might  prevail
Maybe  the  thoughts  will  stop coming
Maybe they'll be ten times worse
I don't know if I can stop them
What if there's no hope for me
What of I'm stranded here alone
Will I dwell on my  past
Or will  I wonder what the  future  holds
What  of you  were there with  me
Would you be  my knight  in shinning  armor
Or would you  dig me into a  deeper hole
what if I asked you to save me
Would you  leave  me behind
Or would you save me from the dungeon  in my mind
I wonder how many others are like me
A fighter fighting  their own mind
Wondering what happens when they lose