I feel haunted
Nothing feels right
The only reason I’m here
Is to show them what to avoid

I’m a mistake
Caught up in the drama
Never being able to run
Away from all my problems

I’m weak
I can’t control my feelings
Anger boils
As I try to go to my beginnings

When things weren’t so harsh
When I could be anything I wanted
When I could have the world
But now it’s all nothing

I feel dead
Inside and out
The cuts across my wrists
Prove how much I want to cease to exist

Blood spatters
In my dreams every night
My death replaying in my mind
And I want it to be reality

No one would miss me
I could just disappear
No one would cry by my grave
No one would feel despair

And why should they?
I’m just a mistake
I can’t do anything right
No matter how hard I fake

I act all happy
On the surface, you would never know
How hard it is
To stop the water work’s flow

I cry myself to sleep
As my wrists bleed
I’m sitting there
Wondering if anyone would hear me

Hear me scream
Life is so unfair
Running away from my problems
Running away from my dreams

Never once looking back
Because if I do, all I’ll get is pain
A never ending void
Full of torment from the years

Years of working
And to what end?
No one will even know I’m here
No one will even care

All they’ll see
When they look at my broken body
Is a girl broken beyond repair
And fixing it

In a way that is all too common

Suicide is never the answer
Neither is pain
It’s what I’ve been told all my life
But does it have any meaning?

Life is full of pain
It’s impossible to avoid
Death comes one way or another
Suicide just fills the void

I’m curious
I’m in pain
My head hurts
From trying to ease it

The never ending torture
That consumes me day and night
The way that I hold back my tears
So that they never see my cry

I hide behind walls
So tall no one knows I’m here
To everyone else I’m happy
But to myself, I’m an epic fail

I can’t seem to find the words
My capture is eternal
My prison in the dark
Of such a huge jail

A prison for the hurt
The sad the lonely the weak
The people who can’t seem to think
About anything but what happened

What happened to them
And everyone else
Having to live with a mistake
They must hate me

Hate my guts for using their air
Hate my face for being so fake
Hate me voice, I always sound so happy
Hate me, the person in hiding

Behind her violence
Behind her laughs
There’s a never ending war
To stay or to leave?

Death is at every door
Tempting me to an early fate
And while life is fun and all
The temptation is too much to take

I slit my wrists
Slit my throat
Watch the blood flow
As I fade

Fade from the world
Where no one cared
They can guess where I’ve gone
But only I will know

Know how it feels to always be alone
Never want to open up
Afraid someone will leave if you do
Afraid that they’ll try to cure you

But what’s the cure for emotions?
The cure for hatred?
If there was one
Humanity lost it long ago

Love for each other
And love for one’s self
Disappeared so far in the past
No one can even find fossils

So I sit here
Pouring out my heart
And what do you think?
Lets go to the bar

She’s not worth it
We’ll just leave her here
She’ll just go away
If we don’t care

And I couldn’t agree more
Anyone who comes near
Will be chasing a ghost
Long ago dead

Dead of her own despair
At being alive
In this ****** place
At living with people full of hate

But what can she say of others hating her?
They say to have people love you
You have to love yourself
And I’m too much of a mess up to ever come close

I hate my life
I hate myself
I might have friends
But they’ll never know

The struggle it is
Just to get out of bed
The reason my wrists
Are bleeding today

Everyday it’s something new
Last time it was happiness
The drug that everyone craves
The reason we all go after our dreams

But what do I do
When I gave up on my dreams so long ago
I can’t even remember what I want
Or who I am

I’ve been playing this game for so long
I’ve brought myself to a breaking point
To let someone in
Will it be a friend or the devil

I can’t remember what makes me laugh
Only that I’m supposed to do it
I can’t remember what the word “joy” means
Only that I’m supposed to crave it

Like everyone else
Love should be my drug
But what happens when I don’t want to care
The only thing I want isn’t here

It’s in some place that no living thing has ever breached
So place so desolate people fear it
But not me
I long to go there

Long to go into the pits of hell
Where I’ll always be in pain
The pain I deserve
For even existing.