I am gonna say this the best I can, Man, I don't even know where to begin, On my face there is a grin, Yet I feel ate up with sin, I look in the mirror, I see broken, You can't see it when you look at me, That I feel lost as can be, I write these stupid rhymes And I don't even like mine, On the inside I feel terror,
The thing is I'm so happy, But something in me is empty,
I finally have a good life, I am a proud wife,
Still not a dime in my name, But happy just the same,
My soul is soaked with rain, Because my heart cries from pain, Then when no one is home, All day somedays I sit here, And I cry outloud and alone, There is so much I miss, And darker grows the abyss,
No need to mention all that I miss, Because I can't go back to reteieve any of this, People, name's, memories and could be's, I always carry them with me,
I can try to be bad with a frozen heart,
It don't work when I try to play the part,
I wished I could, I wished I was,
Was so bad without a care,
If I could then I wouldn't have to wish I was,
Because yeah then I would,
I don't know me,
I know what some other's see,
When I glady go down to my grave,
No one will shed any tears,
I doubt any of the one's I love will even be there,
I don't even see them now,
I pray God takes me soon somehow.
-Ven Jencie Arnold