The guilt is deep
I feel it in my sleep
Creeping through my bones
Making its way to my soul
I don't deserve you Mama
I don't deserve you

My lies and deception
Turned your love for me to resentment
Wish I could take away the pain I caused you
Make up for every time I wronged you

Your only child, your heart
The memories fade away
I never listened, but you were always right
Stubborn and young, always ready to put up a fight
I don't deserve the love you gave me
I used you, and I'll admit it
I stole,
I threw it all way
For a boy, for a high
Priorities all ****** up
I just wanted alone time

Don't blame you if you desert me
Because I'm not done ******* up
Baffled and confused at this game we call life & love
Wish I could take away
All those disgusting things I said
The disrespect
The neglect for your feelings
But who am I kidding
My selfishness is what got me here

You're all I truly have
You leaving me is my greatest fear
And every night I shed a tear
Because I don't deserve you
I'm sorry mama
For the lies, my refusal to compromise
Yelling at you and never taking your advice
When you were always right
Without a doubt you were always right

I was young, I lost sight
I’ve yet to gain it back
I never want to fight
But I’m hotheaded,
Always on the attack
Say I get it from my father
But is that an excuse?
For blatant parental abuse
For saying I hate you Mama
I lied Mama
I always lie
I couldn’t bear
To let you know the truth
I’m not who you think I am
I am someone
Much worse
And it hurts to write this
Because I know it’s true
And I can’t hide anymore
But I force myself to
For the sake of you Mama
For the sake of you