nowadays sadness feels a lot like excitement, like my mind trying to get a rise out of my heart. like i can prove i'm a human, and i swear i breathe the same oxygen as you, and when i get cut i bleed all the same.

i don't know if i'm scared of you, or riveted by the idea of you disassembling me, only to find out that it's all a petty act, and i'm gray. i don't know if i want to break you or be broken by you.

either way i'm sick, right?