I’m still choking on the honey he poured down my throat. Sonorous tears stream down my face as I struggle to take all that is given to me. The thick texture cutting off all air to my lungs, and the only breaths are through my nose; every few seconds when the sobs stop I glance upward at your hidden face. My eyes probably looked like Christmas with their red and green. It spills out the side of my mouth and onto the floor next to my servile knees. My hands are chained behind my back, so I can’t touch you.

The waistband of my pants has been digging into my stomach. I can still feel you there. Digging your way into my soul. Even if I try to pull you back, you only snap into me with more force than before.

The world is a reflection of me. The rain that’s been falling since I awoke at 6:37 this morning could only reflect how I fell even further when I read your goodnight text.

The flowers that I used to represent our blooming feelings died yesterday. But they’ve been dying for a while. I smelled them one last time and the rotting scent followed me as I dropped them out the window.

The blankets that kept me warm many nights before tried to suffocate me last night. I tossed them off constantly and became cold. I pulled them back and learned to deal with the sweat on my sheets.

I always feel a little scared driving in the rain. I’m still learning how to control the car. I don’t want to glide on the water and crash the way we flew and broke.