i’ve loved and been loved,
seen smiles so whole my heart grew tenfold,
then crumbled because it was too full.

a self-destructive act,
i fell in love with a girl who put all her love
right between us so i couldn’t see her anymore,
and i had to yell to reach her.
so she stopped listening because
all my words turned ugly.

and it took all the breath i had in me
to search the souls of others
and forget how soft hers was to the touch.

an alternative,
i found solace in the mouth of a boy who said
nothing ever could quite measure up
to the beautiful curves of my body.
somewhere in the midst of empty words
and miles of beautiful skin,
i found myself wondering if i fell in love with
the soft way his mouth find mine,
or the pretty words he spoke against my skin.

and so i broke him to see what was inside,
each cracked piece vanishing right in front of me
cutting my fingers
until i could only hold onto a bloodied memory
of the corners of his smile.

i found love in the details,
in two heart-broken heartbreakers
cut from the same cloth;

and i am the reckless seamstress
who holds scissors like they are
a toy, love like it is a toy;

and i am the defect.