i wish there was a way to draw out how i feel,
the tornadoes inside of me and the tangled balls of yarn in my head.
the knots that form, a failed crochet, a product of walking in circles with my eyes closed. the colonies of goosebumps that race down my spine, searching for a finish line, for when my words are matching up but i can't seem to form a specific thought.
threads of this were movie scenes, an essence of cinematography or the warmth of a color. brush strokes i had visualized but never translated. melodies that made me feel but i could never explain how. inside of me were messes. dried up paint from a palette i never used, only created because i liked the colors. words i strung together, poking my fingers with the needle each time i didn't have the confidence to say how i felt. the fear of what others may think when they know i feel so deeply. there was an entire sky full of stars, dotted with each sentence i couldn't seem to spit out.
i couldn't overcome the fear of saying how heavily i feel even though i love you so much. there were moments where i bite my tongue til it bleeds so i don't tell you words that will never reciprocate.