Memories of you and me
Play in my head like a movie

People always blame a woman
For not leaving a bad relationship

"Can't you see what he's doing" they ask

"Yes of course I do, but it's more complicated than that!"

I get touched and I fight back and I raise my arms
in defense and push you away and run away.

"If he's hurting you, why don't you just leave?"

That's a brilliant question,
one I ask myself every night
as I curl into the smallest ball I can

Attempting to protect myself
from any exposure I may have
on my body

"Why don't I leave?"

It would seem like a simple decision

Just leave.

But being with you is like being in a room of darkness

And I keep running into cabinets and broken glass
that bruise and cut my body
Then someone turns the lights on,
And I realize that I'm in an empty room
One with a door just twenty feet from where I'm standing

So I run toward that simple door but then,
******* IT! You turn the lights off again
And you put your arms around me
As if you love me

So I hold my breath and I count to five
As I wait for you to release me
From you ever present grip,
Whether it's physical or not

So I scratch and slap at my body
Trying to relieve it
From the clinging feeling of disgust
that your "love and affection" haunts me with
Years after experiencing it

WHY DON'T YOU LEARN???

WHY DON'T YOU CARE???

Why does your internal understanding
of personal respect not exist?

These are questions that neither you nor I
Will ever be able to answer

So they linger...
Like a balloon

With it's string attached to my finger
as I walk away from you