There is a monster inside of me,
fingers crossed - I pray
for it to go away.
I haven't seen its face yet,
but god I wish
it does not exist.
It did nothing but hurt me,
it kicks
and won't let me sleep.
It makes my body
swollen and round,
I hate it for making me fat.

This monster is unplanned,
a mistake,
a tragedy,
a sin.
I jumped into the pool of pleasure,
went home with a little devil
inside my body.
The hands that had
touched me,
caressed me,
explored me,
are no longer beside me.
He left as soon
as he heard of the
little devil
and so I am alone,
alone with
this monster in my belly.

The monster is ripping my insides,
it struggles to
find its way out.
I screamed in pain as it
slowly forces its
way out of
my already worn out
body.
Oh god,
I hate this monster.
I really hate it
for bringing me so
much
pain,
anger,
humiliation,
fear,
emptiness,
and...

...hap­piness?
Why, why am I smiling
as the monster
slowly puts its tiny hands
on my chest?
Its soft skin
and little feet
makes me want to
protect it from every harm
that might
go its way
Its cries are
music to my ears

It's been a year since
the monster became
my whole life,
my world,
my heart,
my life.
This little thing I used
to call a monster
is really no monster at all.
It is an angel,
a darling,
a sweetheart,
my little baby.
Being a mother to her,
is one of the proudest
and precious thing I have.
For the monster changed my life,
the angel of my life.