i’m sick and tired of going through the same struggle everyday. the struggle of staying away from you. i get this urge to call you and tell you how much i’ve missed you and how i really did try my best to move past this but i couldn’t. i spend each and everyday fighting this strong need to talk to you. it’s an addiction, that explains it best. you’re flowing through my veins and i keep trying to scratch you out of my skin but you’re a part of me. you invaded me. and the worst part is i let you. i gave in completely. i fought it continuously but i eventually gave in. i’m in love with you. i don’t know who you are or what you did to me but i’m helplessly and hopelessly in love with you. it’s not the kind of love where you’re here and we’re together and i run my fingers through your curly hair which i imagine is hard. and you tickle me because you love to hear me laugh. no, that image only exists in my deep fantasies. when it’s all said and done, when it comes to reality, it is nothing like that. it’s me against my feelings in a battlefield and you’re watching from afar. completely unconcerned with the pain i’m putting myself through for you. silly, isn’t it? how someone could love you endlessly but from a distance. it feels like we’re miles apart from each other and there’s no possibility of a way back. life works in uneven ways sometimes, but i guess the odds were never in our favor; you and I.

yours truly,
S.B.