Yes, we’ll stop talking about it
I promise
There’s no need to talk about all that lost potential
I know, love
Love is harder than
The rocks I fall on and cut my knees with
When I’m not looking
Because there are so many better things to look at with my eyes
Than yours
And your voice
My ears shrivel up
Like a snail garnished with salt
I know, I’m so sorry
So sorry for all that lost time
Broken pocket watch
Repaired with angry hands
I’ll never have time to fix it
I’ll always be a minute or two late
Or three or four
Because who counts when it’s all a pink, burnt haze of mystery
And frustration
And hostility
And fleeting joy
That leaves me fiending for more
Until my head won’t stop pounding
I can see above those mountains again
I can see the whole world once more
And I am frightened
Those mountains unveil my meekness
And instead of feeling humble I curl my lip in disgust
Disgust that
Perpetuates my dissonance
And alienation from that pit of humanity that sits like a heavy stone in my stomach
Weighing on my shoddy lungs
Polluting me with that warm touch that will never flourish
No, I won’t let my eyes seem them any differently
Allow me to cower behind this rocky barricade
I can’t handle the splendor of all those lights
And all those beautiful fields warped into an endless kaleidoscope of green
Emanating kindness and acceptance
Am I doing that again?
Concentrating on those devilish details
I’m sorry, I’ll stop gazing from afar
I’ll move a little closer
And watch it all disintegrate
Into a pool of rejection
With white foam
Turning into trickling madness
My mind, yes
I almost forgot
I’ve misplaced that too
Maybe it’s with the cackling hyenas
Laughing manically at the warm desert sky
Laughing at death, and stupidly brave snakes, and the moons wispy glimmer
They’re so fragile
And ignorant
And brute
Like your perception of my sadness
I know, I don’t cry
My eyes have better things to look at
Than my own blurred pity
The toxic drizzle gets ever fiercer
Bones outside their musty cave
I’ll let them have it
I’ll die and let my parts lie and
Become sodden with dirt
Decaying until their specks of sand
Leaving me with only one question
Where will I scatter among these mounds of gold?
But I’ll have the last laugh
It’ll all drain away
But the cacti will still be there
Staring into the suns hypnotic warmth
Tall and sound
Moving only when the breeze sways them towards the sands silencing caress
They’ll only get to touch it
But they’ll never have it
They’ll never have peace
They’ll never be in pieces