I was already broken, and I needed my friends,
Another relationship had come to an end,
So I went to a party where I met you, two men,
In hindsight, I wish I didn't go and had just stayed in.
Late at night I was trying to sleep,
Yet you both followed me like lost sheep,
Inviting yourselves into the bed,
My "no"'s giving you the go ahead.
You acted like all I needed was encouraging,
As if no means "sure let's just keep on going!",
After a while, I even moved to another bed,
Yet you saw that as a sign to follow me instead.
2 on 1, your advance had begun,
I felt empty, devoid of all expression,
I was your doll for you to do with as you please,
I laid there as you added me to your trophies.
One of you is done and I think it might be over,
Yet the other said it was "unfair" for him not to quiver,
I wanted to forget so I could recover,
Then days later told "its only banter".
Did you think it was a game?
That getting sex would lead you to fame?
I know that straight after you went and told your friends,
As if I was an object or a means to an end.
When I asked you to stop gossiping your medal,
You blamed, insulted and implied that I was viral,
After it all that was the first time I cried in shame,
Because somehow, you made me believe I was the one to blame.
It's only now, years later, I realise it was wrong,
The "me too" movement has my mind dropping truth bombs,
The more I think about it the more I might explode,
These mental scars of trauma are all I have to show.
Do you know what its like to constantly think about?
To try every day to block it all out?
You probably don't even know or think about what you've done,
My body was just an object, a conquest that you won.
I don't know how long my mind will be haunted,
I still have to come to terms with being assaulted,
It's a brand my body and soul will always bear,
Except now I get freedom and hope from prayer.
Because my God is great, and He forgives all sin,
And it is through him that I have gained new skin,
"Forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you",
It is by him and for him that I forgive you.