2.27.17
This a letter to my abuser.
A letter to the woman who took away my childhood.
The woman who with one hand held me by my face up against a wall while with the other hand you used to hit me repeatedly with.
You would scream your demands into my face with spit & fury.
You would tug on my skin that was so bruised up it was decaying into the nothingness that I started with in my mothers womb when I was still just a planted seed.
You made me feel like I didn't matter & it didn't matter if I lived or died.
Your manipulative ways would say that I was the one lying.
Why would I lie that I wanted to die because you already made me feel dead on the inside.
& now you get to not only walk free as someone who pretends they've never done a **** thing to another person but you get to bring another life into this world.
How ironic is it that you are giving life as you took away mine.
Throughout your six years you gave me hell on earth with the scars & the bruises & the cruel devastating words that came flying out your mouth.
& when the six years were up you didn't keep quiet.
You make sure to come back around every now & then to remind me that you still have control over my thoughts.
The thoughts that were never there before you came into my mind & erased every happy thing I thought of because if I was happy that meant you weren't & you made sure to take away the positive & force your negative lies into my mind.
You made me nothingness which took me so long to overcome & to fight off & for me to believe that I am just a little bit beautiful is impossible because every time I feel beautiful I hear your voice tell me:
"Who are you fooling? You are what I make you. & I didn't make you beautiful."