My body and I don't talk much anymore
But every night's a one night stand
Where brief connections are where we can barely stand to meet
My emotions and I haven't been on good terms lately
What does that say if I can't even understand me?

I hold genetics responsible for my obsessive tendencies
I think hyperfixation runs in the family
My father hoards movies
And I could count more DVDs
In our basement than words he ever ******* said to me

My brother liked rubix cubes
So he learned how to solve one in under a minute
Only took him 3 days
And I'm pretty sure the only language I ever spoke belonged to fiction

Is there a word for love that's obligatory?
The place in your chest where the hearts supposed to be?

Nothing is more my catnip
Than gay fiction
Because nothing is so enticing and foreign to me
Than love between men
Something so close to me
yet so out of reach

When I fall in love
I make a point to keep that person at a distance
Proximity breeds diapointment
And the less I know
The less I have to stop loving
That may sound tragic
But it hasn't hurt so far
Ignorance is not bliss
but it IS fleeting
It is temporarily uncomplicated feelings

Let's ignore the divorcé I've become from my body
Let's talk about my social anxiety
In public
where there's a target on my back and the darts are her and she
Let me believe
Pray one day that when I hear strangers say he
I think
I believe
they mean me