I had travelled for so long.....too long some may say
Hunting for the lost piece of the puzzle that before me lay

Love - it was always there,
Laughter it was never far,
Copious bright imprints snuggled sweetly to my chest,
Two peas in a pod -
A pod that I secretly knew was the best.

Pieces went missing?
Pieces felt misfitting?
Then:
You cared far more for freedom,
You cared far more for money, more money,
You cared far more about the opinions of those that don't care much at all,
You cared far more about the substances that fooled you to believe that all it wanted was to help

I wanted to help - Me,

You lied and lied again
When all I wanted
Was the truth
When all I Needed
Was the truth

You say:
Your reflection is distorted now?
Your eyes are unsure
You feel walls at every angle
And This is what you feel you must endure?

You no longer saw who I saw
and I couldn't understand why.
You were my favourite person
one of the nicest I knew
You had been my home for so long.

I became exhausted
I became tearful
I became scared
I became so worried about you that I forgot all about me
I forgot about everything else that was worth worrying over in this beautiful world.

I Had to surrender.
because I couldn't answer any of the why's that clung
So badly
To how we ended up on this path.
I just couldn't solve it - my god I tried and tried again.
But, the pieces - they just wouldn't fit.

I never wanted to, but

I let you go

As excruciating as this was, it was the only thing left to do.

I let you go

I miss you
I don't though miss
The tears
The arguements
The disappointment
The worry
The uncertainty
The fear I cradled whenever I dared to hope
But I do miss you

I see sparkles of you every so often and I remember all the love that once connected us so securely - with a sad smile on my face.

I now accept that there was no helping you to make choices that would've brought you happiness - as it was a happiness you felt unworthy of.
Nor could I have helped you to love yourself like I did - you knew what I was yet to find out.

I now understand - guilt can steal a good heart.