Jan 2018
They will never learn how hard it was for you to wake up everyday with anxiety in your body and demons in your soul
They will never learn how hard it was for you to avoid yourself from asking too much questions that was running wild in your head till your palm felt damp from your anxious sweats.
They will never learn how hard it was for you to tell yourself that it will be okay till you even lost your counts of how many times you said that to your **** shaking body.
They will never learn how hard it was for you to avoid humans to calm yourself but have to face everyone in public when being a student is all about talking and meeting and presenting and representing.
They will never learn how hard it was for you to face everyone without feelings that the others thinking that you're a coward and a freak and not to forget, a ******.
They will never learn how hard it was for you to walk in public even just for 50 freaking meters and don't denied that you even try to figure out of how to walk that freaking meters without being seen.
They will never learn how hard it was for you to push aside of what you feels starting from a slight hurt to a ****** wound just to let your friends satisfied even when they were lying straight to your face and you actually know the truth.
They will never learn how hard it was for you to accept yourself or be yourself until they gave up and left and you became toxic and they claimed themselves as the know-it-all friends to others whenever something happens to you and not to forget, spreading your little depressed stories to others and tell them how hard they tried to change, I mean 'help' you to be better but it just you that never had the effort and just wanting attention.
They will never learn how hard it was for you to stand up for yourself and for the ones you love.
They will never learn how hard it was for you not to scream at yourself of how ugly you are, of how you hate yourself, of how you hate yourself for having anxiety and of how you try not to cry yourself a river and break the mirror every seconds you look at one.
They will never learn how hard it was for you to hold yourself from breakdowns when you successfully open up to someone until your friends met her in silence just to tell her to walk away from you.
They will never learn how hard it was for you to avoid yourself from searching the symptoms of anxiety and tried to deny the fact that you actually ticked most of them
They will never learn how hard it was for you to hold your shaking hands and legs below the table whenever you nervous until your breath hitches and everything turns black
They will never learn how hard it was for you to talk in public without going to the toilet the next seconds to slap yourself of how idiot you look in front the others
They will never learn how hard it was for you to not locked yourself in the bedroom and scream in the pillow and knock your head on the wall when everyone was in their deep sleep.
They will never learn how hard it was for you to hold yourself from stabbing your weak body with a knife every second you live
They will never learn, never.
They will never learn how hard it was for you to avoid yourself from asking too much questions that was running wild in your head till your palm felt damp from your anxious sweats.
They will never learn how hard it was for you to tell yourself that it will be okay till you even lost your counts of how many times you said that to your **** shaking body.
They will never learn how hard it was for you to avoid humans to calm yourself but have to face everyone in public when being a student is all about talking and meeting and presenting and representing.
They will never learn how hard it was for you to face everyone without feelings that the others thinking that you're a coward and a freak and not to forget, a ******.
They will never learn how hard it was for you to walk in public even just for 50 freaking meters and don't denied that you even try to figure out of how to walk that freaking meters without being seen.
They will never learn how hard it was for you to push aside of what you feels starting from a slight hurt to a ****** wound just to let your friends satisfied even when they were lying straight to your face and you actually know the truth.
They will never learn how hard it was for you to accept yourself or be yourself until they gave up and left and you became toxic and they claimed themselves as the know-it-all friends to others whenever something happens to you and not to forget, spreading your little depressed stories to others and tell them how hard they tried to change, I mean 'help' you to be better but it just you that never had the effort and just wanting attention.
They will never learn how hard it was for you to stand up for yourself and for the ones you love.
They will never learn how hard it was for you not to scream at yourself of how ugly you are, of how you hate yourself, of how you hate yourself for having anxiety and of how you try not to cry yourself a river and break the mirror every seconds you look at one.
They will never learn how hard it was for you to hold yourself from breakdowns when you successfully open up to someone until your friends met her in silence just to tell her to walk away from you.
They will never learn how hard it was for you to avoid yourself from searching the symptoms of anxiety and tried to deny the fact that you actually ticked most of them
They will never learn how hard it was for you to hold your shaking hands and legs below the table whenever you nervous until your breath hitches and everything turns black
They will never learn how hard it was for you to talk in public without going to the toilet the next seconds to slap yourself of how idiot you look in front the others
They will never learn how hard it was for you to not locked yourself in the bedroom and scream in the pillow and knock your head on the wall when everyone was in their deep sleep.
They will never learn how hard it was for you to hold yourself from stabbing your weak body with a knife every second you live
They will never learn, never.
