all throughout the day,
i could feel it building up in my stomach
constricting my throat from the pressure, wishing,
needing to be released
it gave me a headache.
every little thing,
the click of a pen.
the tapping of fingers treating the desk like a drum.
heavy breathing.
sick sniffles.
all natural human movements
just boiled me up more
what is my problem?
i don't know,
but it's driving me crazy.
my thoughts are all jumbled like a crossword puzzle
i don't know what's in my head,
but it's screaming
so loud, shaking my brain,
clenching my fists
knocking against my skull
yelling,
let me out, let me out,
all throughout the day,
i tried to not let it loose
god, what would even happen if i broke my lungs in the middle of school?
i'd probably shatter the windows.
someone would probably call the police.
so i clenched my teeth, and i held it in
i ran home that day.
and when i entered my home, and i thought to myself,
should i let myself go?
or would it make it even worse?
i shoved my face into a pillow,
and i screamed with all my might
releasing all the frustration,
that was building up for who knows how long
probably longer than i realize
i screamed until my throat was in pain,
my head likewise screaming for me to stop
i don't know how long i screamed,
just at some point my entire body collapsed
from letting that monster out