s stands for the way you stood
   looking at my face as if it were the most disgusting thing you'd ever
   seen
   cuts marring my face and
   blood dripping down my cheek
   despite how much i tried to make myself beautiful for you
u stands for the way you spat useless
   followed by a vicious smack resounding around the room that was ours
   im sorry i didnt know you were coming home so early please give me
   10 minutes ill make dinner for you then how about you watch the game
   for now? please stop hurting me i dont know what happened to you
i stands for the way you innocently
   claimed that i was the reason for all our hardships
   and the reason for why our son had committed suicide
   acting as if you hadnt abused him until the day he died
   while i lay on the floor, passed out
d stands for the way you delighted
   in watching the basketball game while i had a panic attack in the corner
   shivering and whimpering for you to please help me my medicines in
   the medicine cabinet, please, please, please i think im dying, please,
   wouldn't someone save me?
a stands for the way you accidentally
   hit me the first night
   and then the second
   and then the third
   and then every day until
   you didnt even bother to call it an accident anymore
l stands for the way you left
   without a single regret
   leaving me, your once-beautiful wife
   destroyed by you
suicidal stands for the way you
   shattered me into a million pieces
   and forever fractured my identity

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